March 2012
11 posts
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you: i mean sure it didnt end the way either of us thought it would but you taught me more than anyone.
me: thats my biggest fear ever.
you: that you taught me?
me: being someone's lesson.
heartaches help us heal, i suppose.
i watched you change.
the streetlights on the highway illuminate the road ahead of us like several hundred hungry fireflies following us towards our city desination. we make eye contact, both eventually cracking smiles. you flawlessly turn up the volume with a swift jerk of the wrist. when we arrive, we’re waiting for the other’s so you crack back a tab and we begin to drink making small talk and taking...
February 2012
9 posts
i wish i didnt collect everything.
especially kind words. i’ve spent the past two hours listening to all of the songs i’ve shared with people, reading through old messages, old saved documents, notes, etc. and when my heart gets this heavy, i cant help but feel like i’ve lived so much, and loved so much. and it get really, really hard to not notice that every time, i’ve been left alone. stripped of...
"& all i wanted was a simple kind of life"
we always come back together, and you always take me back, but only half way. this time i felt something was different, and it was my own guilt that made me stray from you. i know better now than to return to my old ways, old doubts, old thoughts, but just because i know better; doesnt necessarily mean i do better. its as if fate finds a way to crash land you into my peripheral at the most hectic...
the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've...
you should never have to bury your baby.
i hold my breath and sink into a sea of pillows. my windows cracked and the air smells like a salty spring; between the warm breeze and the tears in my eyes. i swallow the knot in my throat, and tell myself “someday,” as i’ve grown so accustomed to. i run my fingers over the design on my duvet, turning my face into the pillow letting out one hard, and what seems like endless...
i am my only companion.
buying anxiety medication from strangers to maintain some robotic positivity. to suppress my anger. to suppress my heartbreak at the hands of the family that hasnt been a family to me in two years - except for these occasional glimmers i have come to call our “wizard of oz days.” to all the things i never said, that you never asked me to say, simply because you know you couldnt grasp...
i wouldnt take it back. any of it. i believe firmly in everything taking place for one reason or another. i never believed in much until i met you, but there never seemed to be a moment of silence with us, and i believed in that - if nothing else. i believed in your ability to accept my views, and vice versa; how people should. you accepted me into your life, heart, family, regardless of our...