and so it is.

everything i wanted to say - and didnt.

my ever expanding roots. 

theyre under my feet, and somehow i still lose sight of them. free writes, i used to do that a lot. put on music, and just write until i couldnt possibly have another word to say. now i’ll put ‘the animals are gone’ on loop, stare blankly into my computer screen, and end up taking swigs of whiskey until i groggily put myself to bed. i cant tell whether or not things got complicated, or stiflingly simple, i just know going back on here a few pages, i become envious of my own passion. i used to own such charmingly stubborn conviction. i was recently taught the difference between integrity, and pride. pride is a selfish trait, integrity an honest one. integrity will cause you to do the right thing, even though it may take to to hell and back, while pride will cause you to do the foolish thing, to protect what it is you think is the right thing. pride, however, much like confidence, is important in moderation. sometimes the nonsensical thing, is the right one. my fixation on roots was refreshed today by someone from my past casually falling into my present. let me explain that i take very kindly to this occurrence, as he seems to always pop in when i am my most unenthused and unstimulated. i ask;

me. what about me, makes me who i am?

him. Probably the simple fact youre always yourself, you may be influenced by people but the allee I knew was always 100% allee through and through. That’s why I liked you so much you were so original and creative and I knew you had a vision like me, you see the beauty in simple things.

me. how can you tell though? what if im just a really good liar?

him. I can tell by how you act. I mean granted you could be this all encompassing liar who has the game down pat, but I think it really comes down to your intelligence. You know how to play the game and of course you do but when youre in it as a genuine person, there’s no one better.



i feel like i can breathe again. i hope i can hold onto this. maybe inspiration really will ‘find you.’


  1. littlewar posted this