i hold my breath and sink into a sea of pillows. my windows cracked and the air smells like a salty spring; between the warm breeze and the tears in my eyes. i swallow the knot in my throat, and tell myself “someday,” as i’ve grown so accustomed to. i run my fingers over the design on my duvet, turning my face into the pillow letting out one hard, and what seems like endless sigh. its hard, when you stop considering the idea of something, and just plain old consider it. it’s hard to stop yourself. i’m sorry mom and dad. every day, i’m sorry.
i hate that my writings has taken this turn, and i apologize to anyone that previously believed in my writing, i feel like i’ve failed you all.
i’ve always been absolutely terrified of drowning,
until i realized that i already have.
fin,
